I Buy It
My
eldest sister made me call—
makes
everyone do everything—
the
carpet installers with the hard sell.
Salesman
rolled up,
walked
up, talked up.
John
Kinos,
used
to own his own plumbing company,
high
end, bathrooms to the stars.
Kate
Hudson with a wrench under the can,
doing
her own work,
Sharon
Osbourne’s accountants get a cease and desist,
more
faucets than inlets,
towel
bars than towels,
showerheads,
you name it,
she
tried to buy the mannequin in the window.
Then
one day a stray bullet slices his liver,
company
van on the One-Ten,
thinks
he’s dead.
Wakes
up in the ICU
with
a trauma psychologist
sitting
by him, looking at him.
He
says, “I don’t need you, doc, I’m alive."
Doc says, “How can you tell?”
Doc says, “How can you tell?”